Ali Abdaal - Aria

1) Dr. Aria, a clinical psychologist shared how he struggled with depression and lack of inner peace until he decided to embark on a journey to find that sense of serenity, calmness, and fulfillment that would enable him to stand, no matter what happens. He decided to drop out of school and worked for charities and trained as an actor to learn how to find his own voice. He then went on to study psychology and later did his clinical research on sustainable weight loss. He believes that life is a quest to return to oneself, and all the conflicts and problematic situations are not by chance, but created to help him find his way back to his true self.

2) Aria talks about how obstacles are not necessarily a sign that you're going in the wrong direction, but it's a sign that you're going in the right direction. He believes that painful experiences are the key to change and the way we grow in life, that there is no growth without struggle. He said that we are part of the evolution of the universe and that our purpose is to evolve. He believes that there is more to what we can see and test in our Laboratory, that the spiritual and scientific are often intertwined, and there's a way of holding both. He highlights theimportance of the mind and values science and training as a scientist-practitioner, while he puts value on what he feels and experiences that he cannot explain.

3) Aria explains how ancient traditions have contributed to certain approaches in psychology, headlined by Stoic Philosophy, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Yogic medicine practices. He explains how he combines spiritual and scientific knowledge to help executives, CEOs, and multi-billion-dollar company founders deal with the struggles of their daily lives. People come to him when they feel stuck in their lives, whether it's because of the feeling of being lost or in times of crisis, or they've lost their sense of balance and their relationship, and they need to resolve them.

4) Aria emphasizes the inevitability of pain, uncertainty, and change in life. He uses his own personal story of heartache to demonstrate the fact that unexpected events can happen to anyone. The key to handling these unexpected situations is to develop psychological resilience, which is the path to cultivating inner strength, knowing, and compassion. He emphasizes that success is not determined by what happens to us but by what we do next. He encourages listeners to find their center of calmness and stillness amidst the storm and to flow with life instead of fighting against it.

5) Aria also shares his personal experience of going through a divorce and how his prior knowledge of psychological resilience and practicing present-moment awareness helped him navigate his distressing emotions by acknowledging his feelings and letting them flow.

6) Aria discusses the power of taking responsibility for one's own emotions and how this relates to building psychological resilience. He emphasizes that while an event in life may not be one's fault, it still remains their responsibility to find a way to respond positively. He explains that resilience involves accepting and processing emotional pain, understanding its triggers, and ultimately growing and acting in line withone's values and vision.

7) Aria emphasizes the significance of staying true to oneself and returning to who we are when striving for success. He mentions that working with individuals who built multi-billion pound companies and products but feel dissatisfied and discontent with their lives because they lost something along the way. He suggests a simple question to begin figuring out one's vision, which is to ask, "what would you love?" Dr. Aria then discusses the importance of being truthful with ourselves about what we want in life, such as intimacy and connection, and expressing our truth to foster a sense of fulfillment in our lives.

8) Aria discusses how we can move from a place of love or fear and assess whether we are living from a place of truth. When we act from truth, we move from a place of love instead of fear through the difficulties and challenges of life with ease and wisdom. To understand our own values and vision, we must determine what we would love to experience in life, and from there, vision and creation can be formed. For Dr. Aria, it is teaching, which provides him with freedom, joy, and fulfillment, as he shares his knowledge and synthesizes new information.

9) Aria talks about vulnerability, the fear of being laughed at, and the subsequent loss of personal power that stems from holding back one's truth. He explains that vulnerability is the ability to be hurt, and the mind's job is to protect us from it. However, holding back the truth leads to a loss of connection, intimacy, and power. He encourages the listener to disidentify with the mind and dissolve the blocks that hold back the flow of their inner river.

10) Aria discusses the importance of vulnerability and emotional connection. For those with strong cognitive abilities, it can be challenging to connect with and acknowledge their emotions. This lack of emotional awareness can manifest as rage or anger when emotions do come to the surface. This pattern is particularly common among men who struggle to identify what they are feeling beyond anger. However, for both men and women, it can be challenging to share their emotions with loved ones or colleagues. He encourages individuals to notice physical sensations in the body and to practice vulnerability and openness to connect with their emotions truly.

11) Aria explains that when someone experiences pain or discomfort in life, it's usually because there is something vital that they are not facing, which is essential to the individual's growth. While not connecting with one's truth can be painful, it's better to face it as life will bring situations into one's life that will repeatedly get you to look at it. It's also not easy to grow as it requires the individual to be vulnerable and authentic within a relationship, as love and control cannot coexist. Dr.Aria highlights that negative emotions like anger, frustration, resentment, and disappointment are a reflection of the inner being, and it's vital to explore what is causing the hurt. Sharing your truth is not about controlling others, but rather learning to take accountability for one's thoughts and feelings while acknowledging the other person's positive intentions.

12) Dr. Aria emphasizes the need for individuals to live their lives on their terms with agency and independence as it leads to more fulfillment, even though it may be challenging. He advises that the mind becomes a best friend once individuals connect to their truth and act from that place.

13) Aria discusses the importance of following the truth even when the mind may doubt or judge it. He encourages recognizing when the mind is speaking from a place of fear and taking action anyway, as this begins to show the mind that it is not in control and that a deeper wisdom can guide our actions. The speaker shares an example of his own mind doubting the importance of a story he told earlier, and how another person's reaction validated that his truth was worth sharing. He also discusses how the mind can keep us in our comfort zone and resist taking new actions, but recognizing this and moving towards growth is key to building psychological resilience.

14) Aria discusses the role of emotions in our lives, arguing that while emotions are a real and important part of our internal reality, they are also something that the mind creates categories and structures around in order to understand reality. He notes that even labeling an emotion can decrease its intensity and that different cultures have different words for emotions that we may not even know. While he values the experience of emotions, he emphasizes that being in a high-performance state requires effective actions taken at effective times and that this can be disrupted when we act from a place of overwhelming emotions.

15) Aria, explains the importance of the acceptance part of their Aria framework before any change can take place. The first step is to allow and release the emotion until it outflows, and only then do we have access to the executive control of the greatest part of the brain. A real-life example is discussed where a CEO gets frustrated with his wife when she asks him if he can come home early. Dr. Aria explains that it is important to acknowledge the emotion and not avoid it, reject it or push it down, or else it will build-up over time, hardens and turn into resentment.

16) Aria talks about the mistakes people make when confronted with pain. He explains that some people either try to avoid pain or fuse with it, creating a story or narrative around it. Additionally, some people react out of their pain, leading to conflict that ruptures therelationship. Dr. Aria suggests acknowledging and exploring the emotion beneath the initial anger or resentment. He explains that anger is just the surface level emotion and that there is often guilt or shame accompanying it.

17) Aria discusses the difference between the conditioned self and the true self. He explains that the identity we have built is a construction of the mind based on our past experiences and environment. However, the true self is consciousness which is love and truth. The mind creates ideas and expectations of how our life should look like and what will make us happy, but the truth is that we do not know what will happen in the future.

18) Aria discusses building psychological resilience by moving away from the mind, dropping out of consciousness, tapping into intuition, and moving from a place of truth. By creating separation from the mind, we can observe preconceived ideas and notions, such as the idea of confidence, and see them from a distance as if we're observing another person. Then, we can move from a place of power and energy, and let unfoldings happen. We can improve specific skills, like public speaking or playing the guitar, instead of using them as a way of thinking and judging ourselves as confident or not. By seeing the nature of our mind as a tool, we can live from a place of presence and truth.

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