Ali Abdaal - Matthew Dicks

1) Matthew Dicks talks about the common problems he sees in people when coaching leaders from Fortune 100 companies and individuals, often focused on confidence and self-doubt. He explains that the belief that everyone is looking at you is a debilitating thing that holds people back, and often their time is wasted maintaining an unnecessary image. He offers thought experiments and reframing strategies, such as going grocery shopping in your pajamas or reflecting that if you can't remember what others wore, they're probably not remembering what you wore either. By letting go of these worries, life becomes much happier, easier, and better.

2) Matthew Dicks talks about appearance and performance. He mentions that people tend to judge others based on their appearance and that it's a construct that can be changed by bringing everyone down to the same level. He believes that if someone is an outstanding performer at their job, wearing makeup or looking tired won't matter. He emphasizes the importance of being process-oriented rather than results-driven when setting goals, explaining how he sets goals every year but takes into account factors that are within his control. Ultimately, he believes that it's important to set goals that are not dependent on others' whims and to embrace failure as part of the process.

3) Matthew talks about his approach to setting and achieving goals. He starts by inviting suggestions and criticisms from friends, colleagues, and strangers and then sets realistic and appropriate levels for each goal. One of his goals, for example, is to write and send out 100 letters by the end of the year, which he claims has brought back a lot of goodness to him. He also has writing and performance goals, business related goals, personal goals, and organizational goals.

4) Matthew discusses his approach towards productivity and goal setting. He believes that productivity should be dream-oriented and everyone should have a horizon goal. A horizon goal is not defined too specifically but is a general dream or aspiration that one has for their life. This could be to have a backyard vegetable garden or to watch the 50 greatest movies of all time. To achieve these goals, one must maximize their life by minimizing the time spent on little black holes of their life and embracing the things that they enjoy.

5) Matthew talks about the concept of horizons and how it allows him to be flexible in achieving his dreams. He compares horizons to a distant point that is an approximation of the dream, acknowledging that the path you're taking might not actually land you where you thought you would, but rather in the vicinity. This idea affords him the opportunity to be open to possibilities, allowing him to be a storyteller, a consultant, or an ad writer. He shares an example of his horizon goal of being a musical performer and how he started with just a dream, then experimented with YouTube videos and covers of popular songs.

6) Matthew and Ali discuss the idea of exploring your interests and starting with small steps, rather than trying to plot out an exact path to achieve a grand vision. Taking positive steps forward, like ordering a ukulele to start learning how to play music, can lead to unexpected but fulfilling outcomes. The conversation emphasizes the importance of taking action and not getting bogged down in overthinking the end result.

7) Matthew emphasizes the importance of incrementalism when it comes to achieving goals. He stresses that people often expect immediate results and fail to see the significance of tiny, incremental changes that accumulate over time. He uses his own experience as an example, explaining that it wasn't until his wife pointed out his background as a storyteller and elementary school teacher that he realized the role that those experiences played in his success as a storyteller.

8) Matthew emphasizes the importance of taking positive steps forward in any direction to achieve one's goals instead of waiting for perfection or predicting the future. He shares his personal experience of taking steps towards a field in medicine which eventually led him to become a YouTuber. He also suggests that people should just start making content regardless of its perfection and credits his success to the fact that he was never focused on the outcome but more on the process.

9) Matthew reflects on the pursuit of goals and whether one should prioritize them over enjoying the present moment. He reveals that he finds the pursuit of the next thing joyous and sees satisfaction as stagnation and death, but also acknowledges the value of complacency and finding what makes an individual happy. He believes in celebrating achievements and completing goals to lead to the next joy of the following completion. Dicks also shares a personal story of being robbed at gunpoint at 22 years old and realizing that he had not done anything with his life up to that point, causing him to prioritize his goals and dreams.

10) Matthew talks about the importance of purposefully approaching the content we consume. He believes that people often follow the path of least resistance when it comes to watching TV or movies, choosing to fill their time with things that are easy and forgettable rather than things that are hard and memorable. However, he emphasizes that there are moments, such as watching a TV show with family or going through every Marvel movie during quarantine, that are meaningful and add value to our lives. Matthew suggests that we should be mindful of the content we consume and how we spend our time, as we may regret it later on in life.

11) Matthew discusses his approach to rules and bureaucracy, suggesting that many rules are irrelevant and unnecessary. He provides examples, such as filling out administrative forms and parking in non-designated areas, and explains that he often cuts corners because his time is too precious. He traces his attitude back to a childhood experience when he was punished and sent to the corner, realizing that the fear of the punishment was worse than the punishment itself. He discovered that at worst, he would trade choice for time and has adopted this approach ever since.

12) Matthew talks about his experience with breaking the rules and how most of the time, there are no real consequences. He encourages people to test the world to find where these pain points are because most of them do not exist. He also talks about the importance of realizing that everyone is making everything up and there is no universal structured set of codified rules. So, he advises people to make up new proper ways of doing things and not to be afraid of exploiting the cracks that exist in disorganized situations.

13) Matthew shares the traumatizing experience he had where he got robbed at gunpoint while managing a McDonald's restaurant. After the robbers failed to get the money from the safe, they threatened to shoot him if he couldn't open it, and they repeatedly pulled the trigger on an empty gun. Matthew was left traumatized by the experience and suffered from PTSD for along time before therapy and meeting his wife helped him cope with the aftermath. However, he believes that this experience taught him to appreciate every moment of life since it could end at any time.

14) Matthew talks about how he had two near-death experiences, one at 12 and one at 17, but did not feel any regret at the moment despite the severity of the situations. It wasn't until he was 22 and though the was going to die that he realized the importance of living without regret. At 22, he had just stopped being homeless and had a realization that life is too short to live with regret. He began to set goals and work towards achieving them, eventually becoming a multiple Moth StorySlam champion and inspiring others to achieve their goals.

15) Matthew talks about how his life changed after he was declared not guilty of grand larceny. He immediately enrolled in college, took English and teaching classes simultaneously, wrote for the school newspaper, debated, and worked 50 hours a week at a McDonald's, while managing it at the same time. Yale and other prestigious universities offered him free rides after seeing his academic prowess. He went to Trinity College to get an English degree and then to an all-women's college to get his teaching degree simultaneously while working full-time at McDonald's and part-time at a Writing Center. His life changed the moment he was not guilty, and he succeeded in maximizing every moment to get to where he wanted to be.

16) Matthew asserts his belief that everyone can achieve their goals like he has, but emphasizes that it's not necessary to do so, nor is it something everyone wants or needs. He recognizes that life circumstances and priorities differ, but encourages people to challenge themselves and make the most of their time by recapturing unproductive hours in their day. He illustrates this with an example of a friend who claims to need two hours of wind-down time every evening, and suggests compromising to one hour to make time for productivity. Similarly, he advises a friend and mother of three to wake up an hour earlier to make time for exercise and eating well. Matthew argues that establishing good habits and challenging oneself can lead to big achievements over time.

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