Chris Williamson - Tony Volk

1) Tony discusses that bullies do not necessarily have poor mental health or social skills. Instead, the primary driver behind bullying is low levels of honesty humility, which is the belief that one is better than others and deserves more than others, leading to a Doggy-Dog mindset. Bullies also benefit socially, gaining in popularity and sexual access, which can lead to having more children in adulthood. It is unclear whether the direction of causation for this relationship goes from bullying to sexual access or from higher sociosexuality to more bullying.

2) Tony discusses the bi-directional pathway of sociosexuality, which states that socially adept people are more likely to play the dominance and status game, and are also more likely to play the flirting, dating, and having kids game. He explains how bullying is an effective way to knock out competitors and intimidate others, and how it affects girls' likelihood to have sex and date. Tony also talks about the high degree of genetic heritability of bullying and how honesty-humility in the HEXACO personality traits can map well with evolutionary explanations for social behavior.

3) Tony explains the evolutionary psychology behind bullies. He notes that bullies target features that are valued in their social environment. For example, males may target chastity in their rivals because it derogates manliness, formidability, and status. Volk explains that bullies are individuals that have average or better social skill and that are not necessarily smarter than non-bullies. Rather, bullies show low honesty/humility and are willing to use these targeted insults to send a strong signal to the rest of the group.

4) Tony discusses the overall traits of bullies, emphasizing that it is not the victim's fault that they are being bullied. Bullies are often dominant individuals who are picking on those who cannot effectively fight back in a callous and calculated manner. They are low in agreeableness but high in honesty and humility. Volk highlights that while bullies are good at getting dominance and popularity, people generally do not like them because they recognize what they are doing. Bullies peak during middle school and high school, but bullying does not end there, as it continues into adulthood, workplaces, and neighborhoods.

5) Tony discusses the age range during which bullying peaks, typically between the ages of 13 and 15. This is thought to be due to the onset of puberty rather than transitioning schools, as previously thought. Bullying can continue into adulthood, and childhood bullying is predictive of adult bullying, although some people may “age out” of bullying. The discussion also touches on environmental factors that exacerbate bullying, such as competitive attitudes, neighborhoods, and role models.

6) Tony discusses the factors that contribute to bullying behavior. While wealth and parental attitudes may be correlated with bullying tendencies, the study finds that low levels of honesty humility is the strongest predictor of bullying behavior. Maternal monitoring can help reduce bullying behavior in children, but it has little effect on those who are already high in honesty humility. The absence of parental supervision may lead to succumbing to base instincts, such as breaking social norms and taking advantage of others.

7) Tony discusses the cultural differences in bullying, with physical discipline and expulsion being more commonly seen in Chinese schools. He notes that low agreeableness and anger are strongly associated with bullying in North America and the UK. Alcohol use both directly increases bullying and correlates with antisocial behavior. Additionally, bullying was used in ancestral times as a way to gain resources and establish social hierarchies. Interestingly, an Inuit group that was not allowed to express anger still engaged in bullying behavior.

8) Tony explains how hunter-gatherer societies had mixed-aged and often mixed-sex play due to the limited number of children. This prevented the formation of isolated cliques and reduced the need for bullying. However, in such societies, competition for resources could be life or death. In modern society, intervening adults and kin selection help in preventing instances of bullying. However, bullying is neither innate nor learned, but the interaction between two natural predispositions and our individual environments.

9) Tony discusses the prevalence of bullying in Canada and how it has decreased by 20% over the last 20 years, but the number of kids who say they've been victimized hasn't changed. There are opposing forces at work, such as empathy increasing, but hyper-competitive media still creating a lane for kids who think bullying is a path to success. While punishment can work to disincentivize bullies, retaliation is the best form of defense, but it can also escalate bullying if not done correctly. Adults are also only present in the schoolyard 20% of the time, with half of that time the adult doing nothing, leading kids to know not to bully in front of adults.

10) Tony discusses the stereotype of bullies being lonely, having poor self-esteem, and bad social skills, which he suggests originated from school teachers and principals. According to him, children who come from affluent homes and are popular in school with good social skills but still bully others don't get caught as often, and when they do, they receive less severe punishments. Volk also shares personal anecdotes about being a victim of bullying and explains that fighting back may not always be the best response and suggests that an individual should seek support and change the power imbalance by involving adults or friends privately.

11) Tony discusses the behavior of bullies and how they tend to pivot quickly during confrontations to make it appear as though the person fighting back is being aggressive and unreasonable. He also advises parents of children who are bullies to recognize the behavior and take it seriously to prevent it from persisting in the future, as it can become a pattern in all areas of their life. For parents with children who are being bullied, he emphasizes the importance of open communication and taking the issue seriously, as bullies typically choose victims who can't effectively fight back. He suggests contacting the school to address the issue and reinforcing monitoring to discourage bad behavior.

12) Tony discusses the long-lasting effects of bullying on an individual's mental health. The impacts of severe bullying can be lifelong, affecting the immune response and expression of genes. Having allies, such as teachers and friends, can dramatically reduce the long-term impacts of bullying. Having even just one friend can cut the odds of serious mental health outcomes by over 50%. Team sports and other activities can help alleviate anxiety and depression, but parents need to be aware that bullying can also occur within sports teams.

13) Tony shares his personal experience of going from being a socially isolated individual to a well-known public figure and how it impacted his mental state. He also highlights the importance of gaining mastery over a skill that is valued by other people and how it can provide protection against bullying based on status. He emphasizes the need to encourage children to develop skills that align with their interests and can help them gain confidence and self-worth, which can help build resilience to cope with life's challenges.