Steven Bartlett - Robert Greene

1) Robert Greene, the author of the best selling book"The 48 Laws of Power",  discusses his book about seduction and how it relates to power. He explains that seduction is a form of power where people will do what you want without even realizing it. Mastering body language is essential to seducing others because it reveals psychological and emotional truths that words cannot. He also discusses the importance of building real confidence, which comes from within, and not taking for granted the ability to walk or type. He discusses his early years and how his childhood, love for books, and drug experiences shaped his perspective on human behavior, leading to his eventual success as an author on the topic of power.

2) Robert talks about his journey to become a writer. After having multiple odd jobs and facing depression and suicidal thoughts, he met a book packager in Italy who paid him to write half of a book about power. This resulted in "The 48 Laws of Power," which has sold over 2 million copies in the US and has become a cult favorite with celebrities likeJay-Z, 50 Cent, and Drake quoting the book. Greene's thoughts towards the book have not evolved, but it has started to sell even more than before due to word-of-mouth and celebrity endorsements.

3) Robert discusses his philosophy of never looking back and having no regrets, which is a belief that he attributes to a specific period in his life. While he acknowledges there is a dark side to it, he stands by his works, even if he wouldn't necessarily write them in the same way now. Greene has written several books on human nature and power dynamics, which he claims remain relevant today, and it is a matter of understanding how to harness power to gain a sense of control over one's life. Additionally, Greene emphasizes that every person has an ego, including those in power, and understanding how to control it is key to exerting influence over others.

4) Robert explains that self-control is crucial to being powerful as a person cannot control their surroundings without first controlling themselves. He indicates that people are naturally social animals and have to tailor their behavior to avoid offending others intentionally or unintentionally. Hence, a person's appearances matter in the animal part of human nature, and controlling one's appearances is a way of shaping people's perception of oneself. In this context, keeping up appearances can impact one's happiness, and it is essential to ensure that such a persona does not mask a person's real identity, leading to neuroses and confusion.

5) Robert talks about concealing intentions and how it depends on the situation. Sometimes you want to share your vision with your team and inspire them to join you in your journey, but other times revealing everything you're planning to do is counterproductive. With the intense level of competition in the business world, it's not always wise to reveal your plans, and creating a little bit of mystery can be a powerful technique. Greene also talks about how everyone has shadows and darkness in them, including historical figures like Mahatma Gandhi, who wasa brilliant strategist and planned out campaigns like the Salt March to impact the English public.

6) Robert discusses the flaws of icons such as Gandhi and Martin Luther King, and how they reveal human nature. He emphasizes the importance of being aware of one's dark side, as everyone has a touch of narcissism and traits like aggression, envy, and irrationality. Greene also explains that being a narcissist is not inherently good or bad, as it is a natural consequence of human nature, and discusses the origins of narcissism in childhood experiences. Ultimately, he urges people to be humble and aware oftheir own flaws to facilitate personal growth.

‍

7) Robert discusses the importance of developing one's own self-esteem and the impact of having a poor self-image due to neglect or abuse in childhood. He mentions that to avoid becoming a deep narcissist, one must turn the self-love they have outward and channel their emotions into something productive that helps society. Greene also talks about using one's dark side for positive purposes, acknowledging it, and not running away from it. Finally, he notes the role of early experiences in one's relationship with power, as people with comfortable and safe early experiences tend to be the opposite of toxic narcissists.

8) Robert discusses the impact of childhood on individuals and their ability to succeed in life. He notes that while some people with great childhoods do well, others who come from the shittiest childhoods can be resourceful and successful. Greene then delves into the topic of seduction and how it can be a form of power by making people feel pleasure and excitement, leading to a lower resistance to the ideas of the seducer. He differentiates between cold and warm seducers, noting that great seducers are outer-directed and able to pay attention to and meet the needs of the other person.

9) Robert talks about the power of seduction and how being able to make others feel validated and recognized is a rare skill. Being absorbed like a sponge in their psychology inside their world can make all the difference. However, the anti-seducer is someone who is not good at seducing and has several qualities such as preaching, moralizing, and not being generous. Whereas vulnerability can give a sense of weakness that is seductive, insecurity is anti-seductive. Seduction requires a level of openness which is the opposite of being defensive, and it is vulnerable for one to let go of defensiveness and let others enter their world.

10)   Robert discusses the importance of vulnerability in seduction and how being insecure can hinder your ability to connect with others. He also emphasizes the need to put effort into love and romance, just as animals have elaborate mating rituals. Greene suggests that it's important to dress nicely, be creative, and put some thought into the date location to show that you're willing to put effort into the relationship. Additionally, he argues that being cheap and focused on discounts can signal alack of interest in the other person and can be anti-seductive. Seduction is a language of gestures, and we should pay attention to body language and actions when trying to connect with others.

11)   Robert discusses how internet porn has influenced people's expectations of sex, leading to the idea that it should be easy and quick. He explains that overcoming this expectation requires effort and patience, as building relationships and seducing someone requires social skills that cannot be learned through a screen. Humans have the ability to read each other's body language through mirror neurons, which makes it essential to interact with others in person. He emphasizes the importance of being comfortable and confident in oneself as a key factor in seduction, as it makes others feel at ease and opens them up to being seduced.

12)   Robert discusses the difference between fake confidence and real confidence. According to him, real confidence is based on accomplishments and the ability to achieve one's goals. It's founded on something tangible such as a particular skill or talent. Greene stresses that it's not based on looks, money, or words. He also talks about body language and how humans have evolved to read it, as it helped in their survival. Moreover, he emphasizes that mastering body language is a skill that can be learned and developed through practice and observation.

13)   Robert emphasizes the importance of body language over words when it comes to seduction and identifying people's true intentions. He advises paying attention to a person's smile, eyes, tone of voice, and posture as they reveal a lot about the person's feelings and confidence, weakness or strength. He also shares Milton Erickson's story, who became an expert in body language due to his paralysis, and warns that even the finest actors in the world cannot fake one's voice. Mastering the language of body language can be incredibly powerful in seduction, business, and life in general.

14)   Robert discusses the importance of developing a sense of self confidence rather than obsessing over body language. He notes that if a person feels confident and secure, it will naturally radiate through their gestures, and they will not have to monitor everything consciously. Instead, they can simply feel certain things that will radiate and not give a fake smile but show their real emotions. Greene explains that Mastery is important because it teaches people to learn a skill and devote time to developing it to develop confidence and self-esteem. Without a skill, people will lack that sense of fulfillment and struggle in life.

15)  Robert discusses the importance of finding one's life task as opposed to simply finding their passion. Greene argues that the word passion is overused, and that success in any area requires dedication and hard work, which is not always fun or thrilling. Instead, he suggests that individuals should look for something that they feel a natural connection to, something that they loved doing as a child or young adult. He emphasizes that the most important phase of one's life is in their 20s, during which they should focus on improving their skills in a field that connects deeply with them, leading to the discovery of their life's task.

16)   Robert emphasizes the importance of learning by doing, stating that the human brain is wired to learn new skills through hands-on experiences rather than just theoretical knowledge. He explains that the brain and hands have the strongest connection since the evolution of the human species was heavily dependent on the abilities of our hands. Greene also shares a personal experience of a stroke he had, which paralyzed the left side of his body, making him realize the importance of appreciating life and not taking anything for granted.

‍

‍

17)   Robert discusses the circumstances that led to his stroke and the journey he had to undertake to rebuild and redesign his life. After the incident, he realized that he had to adjust himself to the new reality that he faced. He reflected on the unfairness of the circumstances that led to his stroke, but also acknowledged that it could have been worse. He described his journey back to health, having to confront feelings of helplessness and dependency, and how it gave him more empathy for others who were struggling. He also talked about the delusions he had immediately after the stroke and how he had to come to terms with the reality of his situation.

18)   Robert shares his strategies for dealing with depression and finding happiness after his stroke. He talked about how he finds joy in writing, which is his salvation, and how he meditates every morning to calm himself down and get through the day. Additionally, he believes in keeping in mind that there are people who have it worse than him and not to feel sorry for himself. Instead, he turns it around and feels grateful for what he has. Lastly, he emphasized the importance of having a sense of purpose, gaining perspective, and practicing gratitude, which are central to finding true happiness.

19)   Robert expresses that he is a work in progress and hasn't mastered everything, sharing moments of frustration from his arm disability. He credits his wife for being an essential aspect of his life, taking care of him,and empathizing with his loss, allowing him to appreciate previously taken-for-granted little things. As a Zen meditation practitioner, Greene explains that he doesn't see the world as good, bad, ugly, or unjust, but rather as things just are, the karmic chain of the wheel of Dharma. This realization has made him more loving towards humans but not necessarily optimist about the direction of the world.

20)  Robert speaks about his concerns for the future and how human nature tends to corrupt new technologies. Despite this, he maintains hope in the younger generation's spirit of rebellion towards the current stateof the world. Greene recalls a dream he had about being in the year 2072 and seeing that humans had "figured out how to do well in this world". When asked about the happiest moment in his life, Greene mentions being given the opportunity to write his book "The 48 Laws of Power" at the age of 38 and how it changed his life from desperation and poverty to excitement and adventure. Despite the intoxicating high of success, Greene is grateful for what he has and maintains hope for the future through younger generations.

‍